Buhtt sex?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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