i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
