You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
did you just send me my own nude
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize