the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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