Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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