I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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