Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
