Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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