is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
