Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
