Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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