I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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