if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just gift wrapped bread.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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