Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?