This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
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turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
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I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.