i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF