The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob