Whats the glycemic index on semen?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The adults are the big ones right?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
