i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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