OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
No stitches, just platelets and will power
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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