Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize