i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My vagina just recognized that song.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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