hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
