found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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