eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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