i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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