this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
