drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
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To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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