he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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