I am in a vortex of obligation.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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