Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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