id be glad to
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
