She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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