...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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