i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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