when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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