I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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