your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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