i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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