What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
