Will you blow on my dice?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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