Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize