you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
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Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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