Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize