obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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