And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
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They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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