I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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