I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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