my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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