pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
