How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
MIDGETS
????
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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