id be glad to
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
