I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
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like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
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Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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